giovedì 10 gennaio 2008

I beg your pardon...

Yep, it's like that... I beg your pardon because I didn't write anylonger about my trip in Lebanon.
It's my fault, totally my fault, and I don't have many excuses... but, maybe I can try to justify myself somehow...

I don't know how to start, really.
I think that the things I experienced there have been too strong and too private for me...that I couldn't write them on my blog. It's not bacause I didn't want to share with you my's not that. But, sometimes I felt the impossibility to write them, simply because I wasn't able to express my feelings into words.
I knew that the time I was spending there was so short, that often I really didn't want to use this few hours in order to stay in front of a computer, writing...
I just prefered living those hours staying with people, and talking, laughing, living with them.
At the end I had a kind of refuse for internet and for the whole technology in general...even if, actually, I was there in order to run a lab about media.
The point is that, I was spending so much time in front of a pc, that I didn't want to spend also my free time in the same way.

I'm sorry...I'm really really really sorry with you about that.

I'll try to go on with my story, piece by piece, now that I'm back in Italy. Even if, I'll tell you the truth, it's not that easy for me.

When I came home, I felt the distance between my life there and the world I am part of. Yesterday morning (the first morning I was in Italy) I didn't want to wak up from my bed, 'coz I didn't want to realize that I wasn't in Burj anylonger. And I didn't want to discover that I was really alone here, without my mates and, expecially, without my palestinian and my lebanese friends.
Honestly, I don't want you to think that now I'm becoming a kind of "luminated person"...I'm still the same. It's just that, my body and my mind were used to live without certain kind of comforts, so, now, even having hot water and the electricity seems trange to me. This morning, when I got up, it was strange even wearing a pair of high shoes, or to think about I could have a real hot shower and a complete breakfast.
Compared with the problems I was experiencing there, every single thing seems to have less importance here. I discovered that my problems, are not real problems, and that I can easily live without distroying my mind around them.
I don't know...sometimes it seems that everything here has no sense, or maybe it should have one...but I can't catch it.

Well,, ok...when I'll have some pics and a better mood, I'll write something more interesting about my last days in Lebanon.